Twilight author cries foul

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005JST3OC
Mega-selling Twilight author Stephenie Myers (or someone purporting to be that person) has (it's rumoured) on The Loneliest Vampire in NYC's use of a vampire, werewolf, mortalgirl love tri-angle, reportedly saying, 'that's totally what my book was about but that one's all gross and icky so it's kindof twisted.'
Actually the vampire, werewolf, mortal girl  love triangle is a very small part of The Loneliest Vampire in NYC and it's not so much a love triangle as a survivor triangle.
for more see: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005JST3OC

Interview with a vampire part II

If you're just catching up with our interview with vampire Stanley (last name withheld) the so-called Loneliest Vampire in NYC then please see the start of the interview below.
For those of you following the series we pick up where we left off, Stanley describing his life as one of the immortal undead over drinks at a local Vancouver watering hole.

Us: On a different note - what prompted you to tell your story to the world in the first place?

Stanley: Well like I said, I'm immortal so there's a lot of hours to fill, and I figured what the hell might as well set the record straight.

Us: Your record?

Stanley: Mine sure, but also the world of the undead that gets so misrepresented in the media today. I mean it's just like that book series you mentioned earlier where the vampires 'sparkle' in the sunlight. So kids read that and think - hey what the hell I could be a vampire, it's no big deal, so you 'sparkle from tie to time I can live with that. But you don't 'sparkle' you die painfully. Plus there's so many other things to watch out for; Christian fanatics trying to put a stake in your heart, witches (hey there's a reason it rhymes with bitches) and then there's other vampires...

Us: And that seems to be your biggest pet peeve - other vampires?

Stanley: You call it pet peeve, I call it protecting citizens from an unholy alliance of evil vampires bent on the destruction of the mortal world.

Us: Well yes, there is that, but you were already ostracized by the other vampires before you began battling them isn't that correct?

Stanley: Yes, but...

Us: And weren't you somewhat of an unwilling combatant as well?

Stanley: What is this you have an axe to grind or something?

Us: Not at all just trying to get at the truth of the matter.

Stanley: Alright, 'the truth of the matter' is that yeah I have always been something of an outcast amongst the vampires, but I take that as a source of pride considering what a bunch of freaks they are. As for being unwilling, any sane person is going to have second thoughts about jumping into some of the situations I have, but despite that I think I've always given a pretty good account of myself when push came to shove.

To be cont.

Interview with a Vampire

The long-awaited novel The Loneliest Vampire in NYC is finally out on Amazon.com (and going to wider release mid-October) but still many people ask, who is the Loneliest Vampire and why is he so lonely?
We caught up with Stanley (last name withheld) and spent some time talking with him at the Pourhouse Bar on Water Street.

Us: So thanks for meeting with us and welcome to Vancouver

Stanley: No problem, I like it here, dark and gloomy a lot of the time, which is good for my complexion (he laughs).

Us: Speaking of the damp Northwest there's a popular fiction series about vampires set in nearby Washington State,  in which the vampires, while they prefer the grey skies, have no real reaction to sunlight other than they sparkle - what do you think of that?

Stanley: (laughs) Sure why not, and why stop there? Maybe they could all go hang out at the beach and work on their tans.

Us: So you're saying it's not very realistic, vampires cannot go into direct sunlight?

Stanley: Well they can, but they won't 'sparkle' they'll start to smoke then they'll burst into flame and dissolve to ash.

Us: Right. But we notice you drink, contrary to popular belief - and made famous by the Bela Lugosi line in Dracula, "I don't drink...wine."

Stanley: Yeah a lot of people always ask about that but listen I don't make the rules, all I know is thank God I can drink...booze, because it's gotten me through a lot of lonely years.

Us: Is that what immortal life is like - just a years of long lonely nights?

Stanley: Wow, you're brutal, now I do need a drink (he orders an Absinthe). To answer your question, no it's not all just solitary nights wandering the streets. But when you're around as long as I am there's bound to be more times when you find yourself on your own - there's just a lot of time to fill up is what I'm trying to say.  

Us: Yes but the book is called The Loneliest Vampire in NYC and it's about you, so why have you been single out as especially lonely.

Stanley: Well if you'd read the book, which clearly you haven't, you would know that I do have friends and I do get out and socialize. I'm just not as shallow as some vampires, I don't do the whole club scene, I'm not that into fashion, so I guess it's all relative really. I mean I'm off fighting zombies - thank you very much - so because I do that instead of preening for the paparazzi and trying to get myself on page six I'm called lonely, which some people read as 'sad loser,' instead of thoughtful introspection.

To be cont.

Has Dark Shadows already been done as True Blood, Vampire Diaries or Twilight?

The answer to the above is no, but sort of. Dark Shadows was the original vampires as soap opera show. In fact it was billed as a daytime soap and aired (the original 1960s show) against other soaps.
But the latest supernatural soap opera movies and TV shows are obviously aspiring to be something more. But are they?
Twilight is the classic love triangle between young girl and bad boy (who's really not so bad, he's just, you know, misunderstood) and a good boy (who's not really that good, he just seems that way because he acts sensitive.)
True Blood, produced by the brilliant Alan Ball, started off as a fairly original show and definitely a few cuts above most of the other vampire drams  being offered, but the show, now in its fourth season, seems to be running out of story lines and is in danger of Jumping the Shark.
Vampire Diaries is the watered down version of True Blood for the under 18 set, so there's not a whole lot to say about that.
So where does that leave Dark Shadows the movie?
Considering its being directed by Tim Burton and will star Johnny Depp, the team that brought us the now cult classic Ed Wood, I'd say there is a chance Burton & Depp can make Dark Shadows seem new and original and not just another warmed over soap opera with vampires.
I'm hoping Burton lays on the camp with Dark Shadows and I'd love it if they shot it in B&W but I won't hold my breath on that one.
I suppose I'm a little biased in that I applaud any artist who brings more humour to the vampire genre which is suffering from wayyyy too much melodrama these days. 

Are the vampires in Twilight, well, vampires?

Technically Twilight purports to be a novel or series of novels about vampires, but is it really?
The quick answer is no, there's a werewolf in there as well.
But the long answer is...actually it's still just pretty much a no.
I guess the Edward Cullen character displays some typical vampiric qualities, immortal, can't tan, drinks blood, is really sensitive and caring, wait, what?
Yeah that last part is a problem for many fans of the vampire genre - Edward isn't a vampire, he's just another self-absorbed bad boy with 'issues' and a pale complexion.
He's the type girls like Bella tend to get all dreamy about and girls who read books with girls like Bella in them get all dreamy about. That however, as much as the author Stephenie Meyer may claim otherwise, does not make him a vampire. There's no real threat to him, and not much conflict either, other than deciding which shade of black to wear.
After centuries of literature that defined the vampire as a souless, dark, lurking, albeit in many cases, highly charismatic ghoul, who preyed on young women in a pseudo-sexual ritual that satisfied a deep, deep hunger, we're now introduced to someone who looks as if he belongs in a Gucci ad.
It just doesn't work, unless of course you happen to be a 17-year old girl who likes bad boys, but not if they're too icky.

Time for the anti-Twilight?

Rumour has it that Twilight author Stephenie Meyer is worried that a book about vampires that doesn't include endlessly brooding teenagers, and some really needy chick trying to find a cool boyfriend, could wake people up to just how bad the Twilight series really is.

Some people have commented that while they do like vampire novels they wish there was more on offer than warmed over Harlequin Romance plots with supernatural elements sprinkled in.

In a recent (and completely unscientific test) several readers were given printed out pages copied from either a trashy romance novel or Twilight with the names blacked out.

None of the readers involved could distinguish which was which. All the more alarming since the trashy romance novel in question was about a young bullfighter from Seville who meets and falls in love with a beautician from Sherman Oaks while on vacation at Disneyland.

The central conflict of that story is whether the bullfighter should give up his profession and move to California and become a convenience store clerk. There is also a side plot about whether the beautician should stick with manis and pedis or branch out into facials.

Whereas Twilight is about Bella trying to decide like which guy is totally the hottest, that plus there's some stuff about werewolves and vampires. 

Top 10 worst vampires

To maintain the yin and yang of the universe here as a counterpoint to the top ten are the top ten worst vampires ever to appear in popular culture.
#1 Robert Pattison as Edward Cullen, ummm, does this really need an explanation?
#2 Gary Oldman as Dracula, acting next to Keanu Reeves will make anyone look good, but this is the worst version of Dracula ever performed, despite Francis Ford Coppola's direction and those cool shades.
#3 John C. Reilly as Larten Crepsley in The Vampire's Assistant. John, John, John we have always been such big fans of your work, until this sad excuse for a film came along.
#4 Angie Everhart as Lilith in Bordello of Blood. The good thing about this film is Dennis Miller was still funny back in the mid-90s. Everything else, especially Everhart as the Lilith really, really sucked and not in the good vampire way.
#5 George Hamilton as Dracula in Love at First Bite.A vampire with a suntan, they didn't really think that one through did they? As bad as Hamilton is in this 1979 comedy, Oldman still gets our vote for worst Dracula portrayal.
#6 Langley Kirkwood as Count Orlock in Dracula 3000. It's called Dracula 3000 so really what would you expect? But just the same as low as most people would set the bar on this one Kirkwood could still get under it.
#7 Chris Sarandon as Jerry Dandrige in the original Fright Night. This 1985 B movie wasn't actually that bad (which we presume is why they're releasing a remake) but Sarandon's disco lovin', gold medallioned , greasy looking, womanizing vampire held this movie back. Even if he could hypnotize women we still don't believe they'd go for him.
#8 Shane Brolly as Kraven in Underworld. As much as we like kate Beckinsale in PVC, we couldn't stand Brolly's performance, which consisted of him snarling ever bit of his dialogue. We imagine he thought that made him look menacing, we thought it just made him look pre-menstrual.
#9 Aaliyah as Queen Akasha in Queen of the Damned. Yeah this movie just pretty much sucked, also not in the good vampire way (we know same bad pun twice, but we don't care).
#10 Stuart Townsend as Lestat De Lioncourt in Queen of the Damned (see above). 

Dark Shadows adds to vampire soap operas

By Alan Forsythe

The mid-sixties soap opera Dark Shadows after years of failed attempts is finally coming to the big screen in 2012. Starring Johnny Depp, who apparently is a huge fan of the original series, will play the lead character.
The upshot of all this is we will have yet another soap opera with vampire themes. Dark Shadows was actually the original Twilight and in its day largely appealed to a teen audience, just the same it was a daytime drama and competed for audience share against shows like Days of Our Lives.
Who knows, maybe it was even the inspiration for a young Stephenie Meyer. Perhaps one day while catching the show in syndication, she thought to herself, 'if I ever write a book I'll make it a lot like this, except without the confusing parts and all the ickiness. Plus these people are old, I'll just make them all teenagers.'
That's one theory and it's as good as any other I suppose.
As for Dark Shadows? Well it will be directed by Tim Burton so that's encouraging at least. Hopefully he will have less cheese and dial up the camp - way up. And let's not forget Johnny Depp, he did star in Burton's Ed Wood which means when these two team up there's always a chance it could be good.
Still another vampire soap opera....

Vampires and romance

By Alan Forsythe

Why is vampirism of all things so closely link with love and romance or barring that at least sex. But it's usually some form of destructive sex, as in somebody has to pay a price for giving into desire. The latest crop of vampire stores, Twilight, Vampire Diaries and True Blood to name a few didn't invent the whole vampirism as metaphor for sex/love. The original Vampyre featured a mysterious young man who seduced young women. Furthermore it was based somewhat on the life of Lord Byron the notorious libertine of his age.
Illicit sex became one of the themes of vampire novels, with precursors to Dracula, like Carmila setting the tone. Carmilla may sound like the B-movie plots of more recent vampire stories: lesbian seduces the beautiful young heroine but it was actually written in 1872 and was hugely successful.